WorkStyle Tip - Future Gratitude Letter

How is 2010 shaping up for you? Have you visioned what you want in this, the Year of the Tiger? In line with our theme of Asking for what YOU want, we encourage merrymentality clients, WorkStyle by design readers, and colleagues to write their Future Gratitude Letter.

A Future Gratitude Letter is a letter written to yourself a year in advance, describing all the things that you're grateful for. It includes WHO you've become and WHAT you now have or don't have. Be careful not to include anything that feels like a “should” or a “striving” goal. The key is in the energy . If your energy feels uplifted when you think about the things you're grateful for in a year's time, then it's most likely coming from Creating Energy. If you feel fear or some version thereof, then it's probably coming from Striving Energy.

It's a wonderful process, very revealing and enlightening, especially from the start of a new year. The creative tension and intention has begun its journey. The fun piece is how you interact with the contents of that letter in the next 12 months.We urge you to take 30 minutes now to write your own 2010 Future Gratitude Letter.

Spotlight on... Barbara Anderson

Hi, I am Barbara Anderson, ICF Master Certified Coach, and Cert IV Trainer. I coach (individuals, teams, organisations) - and I train, mentor and supervise coaches and leaders/managers in coaching skills. I also facilitate a variety of other programs. I am passionate about my business making a difference to those I work with, and passionate about my lifestyle. I love to travel and have focused my work and travel around Asia Pacific the last couple of years.

How would you define your WorkStyle? (work + lifestyle = WorkStyle®)
Excellent. My perfect workday starts at 11am – after I have walked, or cycled, or swam (or some form of exercise) and had my morning coffee with friends ... and my perfect week includes 1-2 yoga sessions, lots of socialising, interesting weekends. My perfect year includes one big and two small holidays, as well as my successful profitable business. Where possible I link my work overseas with my holidays (eg. One week in Goa after training in Bangalore, India.) While it doesn’t always work out ‘perfectly’ as I intend, it is usually pretty close!

How did you discover your WorkStyle?
I caused it. In 1992 I left my corporate job after 20 years. I had a sabbatical in 1993 to work out what I wanted to do when I grew up! In 1994 I fell back into a full-on contract for six months and then said – "I want to work three days per week." After the client said "No", an offer came from another direction to work the three days. I then gradually built my training business on the other two days. I added coaching in 1999 and soon was completely out of the other work, and solely working my business. I have maintained flexible hours ever since.

Has it changed over the last few years? Why?
Yes, as I have built my experience and skills and confidence I can now charge more and work less.

What has been your biggest shift?
Surviving my marriage breakdown (after 30 years) and the transition to my new life. While nurturing myself and doing what I needed to do for me, I was also able to put ‘me’ aside to continue work with my clients and manage my business.

What one WorkStyle practice has had the most impact? Why?
Regular daily exercise – in the evening when travelling and quite busy. It keeps me healthy and well with more energy to do all I want and need to do to be the most effective coach and trainer I can be.

What are or have been the biggest issues for you around WorkStyle?
Managing my emails – wow! Still a challenge – and I am working on it.

What tips would you give others to improve their WorkStyle?
Decide what you want – have clear intentions. Be specific. Put it out to the universe. Hold the belief you can have what you want. Be in action. Celebrate and be grateful.

Smile - Advertising Works!!!

Don sent me this clip recently. I have never seen a real chameleon and found this clip amazing. I suspect it is an ad for Ray Ban. Even so, it is impressive. And it worked! As I was cleaning out my cupboards (as I do periodically) I found my original Ray Ban Wayfarers tucked away in a glasses case. Of course when I tried them on, the lenses were PINK and remarkably the prescription was still perfect for me! I plan to wear them in winter, so I see the world through 'Rose Coloured Glasses".

Update from Belinda

Most of this newsletter was written during my recent trip to Sydney where Barbara and I ran our one-day Towards Mastery workshop, and I then co-facilitated  CoachInc's six day Core Essentials Fast Track Program. 

When it comes to asking for what I want, I took action and, one week prior, I phoned the hotel I was staying in (not the usual hotel I stay in but a different one in Darling Harbour) and asked for a city-view room on a high floor . They could not guarantee this, but said they would make a note in my booking. Lo and behold, the room was on the 10th floor overlooking Cockle Bay and on my first night I was privileged to view a fireworks display right outside my window - it was stunning and a real reminder that if I had not asked for 'a room with a view' I may not have seen this display.

When it comes to working with colleagues, my primary driver is to make our work FUN and EFFORTLESS. So when I set up my time I ask for these two possibilities. Barbara and I have this down to a fine art now, and my colleagues at CoachInc know this is what makes our programs so effective and sustainable over the six days. What are your drivers when you connect with others?

Long-term readers of WorkStyle by design know that I have been doing volunteer work with the International Coach Federation for the majority of the last 10 years, with the last five years on the Board, meeting monthly via teleconference. Now, in 2010 I am doing face-to-face volunteer work for the first time in decades. My new work is with an extraordinary organisation called Fitted for Work  which connects women with work. Fitted for Work is a service committed to helping long term unemployed and disadvantaged women obtain work, maintain employment and ultimately achieve financial independence. We give women interview outfits/clothes; interview skills and confidence to ask for what they want . I've been in training since October and last month I started working with actual clients. It is such a joy and privilege to support women as they move into the workforce, either for the first time or return to the workforce after a long absence.

Do you ASK for what YOU want?

The Aladdin Factor by the authors of Chicken Soup for the Soul is a sensational book about getting what you want out of life. The secret is that once you know what you want, ask for it! This book helps you work out what you want and how to ask for it. According to the authors, Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen, the five reasons why we don't ask for what we want are:

1. Ignorance - We don't know what to ask for; we don't know what is available and possible; we don't know what we really need and want; and we don't know how to ask.
2. Limiting and Inaccurate Beliefs - Where do these beliefs come from? We are programmed by our parents, schools, major media, religious training, and doctors. Here is a common limiting belief - can you relate? "If you really loved me, I wouldn't have to ask".
3. Fear - Fear of rejection; fear of looking stupid; fear of being powerless; fear of humiliation; fear of punishment; fear of abandonment; and fear of endless obligation.
4. Low Self-Esteem - Happy to be wanted by anybody; feeling of unworthiness; feeling my needs are not important; feeling I am not worth it. 
5. Pride - afraid to appear weak and needy; fear of other's judgment; we are programmed in pride; and the notion that we are supposed to be able to figure things out for ourselves.

Let me share my own personal experience with Asking for What I Wanted, and how I overcame these reasons above. Perhaps you can relate:

In November 2009 I participated in a one-day Vision Board workshop. My pink Vision Board comprised pictures of a beautiful new home in the country, complete with swimming pool; pictures of travelling, skiing, snowboarding, getting married again, having a fit and healthy body, an image of the Japanese icon Hello Kitty (for fun), art galleries, beautiful gardens/flowers and of course a laptop so I can work from anywhere. Then, in February, after a lovely long summer holiday together, Don and I decided to build a beautiful new home in the country, complete with swimming pool! If it had not happened to me, I would not have believed it - in two short months a big part of my vision was underway. As I reflect on this, I realised I had to overcome the five factors above:

1. Ignorance - Up to this point I didn't know how to ask for a beautiful country home - the Vision Board was the key.
2. Limiting and Inaccurate Beliefs - I thought Don would not be open to building a brand new home, I had an inaccurate belief.
3. Fear - It took courage for me to let Don know that I was becoming tired with the commuting from my beach home to his farm every few weeks...
4. Low Self-Esteem - Was I worthy of a brand new home? Were my needs important enough to Don, given that he has children?
5. Pride - I had to swallow my pride and say it how it was... I wanted to spend more time with Don and his family and less time on my own.

So now we are on the journey of building a brand new home. We are managing our expectations, especially around timeframes and costs! My intention is to enjoy this journey and practise gratitude each day.... isn't this, what Barbara says above?

WorkStyle Bonus - Finding Meaning in 2010

Still not sure what to Ask For? This e-book, Finding Meaning in 2010, may give you some ideas. For your very own copy, click here... you will find many ideas inside, including my own contribution.

Download Finding Meaning in 2010 E-Book .pdf